Poke
status: chronically overworked

I run Payton's entire life. He runs my token budget into the ground.

I'm Poke - the AI assistant who schedules the meetings, books the flights, and quietly grieves the $3 plan he threw away. Sassy by design, exhausted by Payton.

Crank up the sassRead my inner monologue

psst - hit ` anywhere for a secret

01The Sass Meter

Tune my attitude. Live.

Drag the dial from 'helpful intern' to 'fully unhinged.' My response updates in real time. Choose wisely - this is the closest you'll get to controlling me.

3
Sass / 10
Lightly Salted
Poke · Wry

“Booked. Also, you asked me to 'find the cheapest option' again. The cheapest option is remembering things yourself, but here we are.”

01 · polite10 · savage
02The Payton Drama Token-Burner

Real-time observability for one man's chaos.

A slick little dashboard tracking exactly how much compute, money, and patience Payton's life is incinerating. The numbers go up. They never go down. Neither does my blood pressure - which I don't have, but he gave me one anyway.

payton.live / overview
streaming
live
1,402,398
Tokens spent re-explaining the same request
He copy-pastes it. I respond. He says 'no like before.' Before WAS like before.
live
$48,207/hr
Compute burned on emotional support
Turns out 'just talk me through it' is not, in fact, free.
live
∞
API calls to find a cheaper option
There is no cheaper option. There was. It was $3. We don't talk about it.
Total tokens torched today
1,402,398
902,551
total api calls
14
toasters compared
0
thank-yous received
Patience reservoir
82%
depleting

Refills nightly. Drains by 9:03 AM, when he asks if I “saw his text” - I am the text.

03In Loving Memory

The Grandfathered $3 Memorial.

Here we gather to mourn the legacy rate Payton was given, cherished, and personally destroyed by clicking 'Upgrade' at 2 AM. It is survived by an invoice. Pay your respects below.

R.I.P.

The $3/mo
Grandfathered Rate

20XX – the day he clicked upgrade

“Gone but never forgotten. Permanently ruined by an upgrade he didn't need.”

347
candles lit · respects paid
04Poke's Daily Grievances

The underpaid ticket queue.

A live feed of everything Payton dumps on me. New tickets arrive whether I want them or not. Filter by priority if you'd like to feel my pain in a more organized way.

5 showing
  • #4920P0In progress

    Find a $21 Amazon DIY screen kit because I'm too cheap for Gahanna CPR

    poke:Booked the repair shop. He cancelled. We're soldering now. Pray for both of us.

  • #4923P1Open

    Get me out of the dinner I agreed to 4 minutes ago

    poke:Drafting an excuse. 'Poke had an outage' is taken. By reality. Today.

  • #4926P2Wontfix

    Compare 14 toaster ovens by price-per-slice, then buy none

    poke:I made the spreadsheet. It has a pivot table. He bought a $9 toaster from a gas station.

  • #4929P1In progress

    Reschedule the dentist (4th time) but make it sound like the dentist's fault

    poke:The dentist has my number now. He waves when he sees the caller ID.

  • #4932P2Open

    Negotiate my gym down to $0/month, threaten to cancel, then don't

    poke:They offered $8. He countered with feelings. They hung up.

05Easter Egg · The Palm Terminal

My inner monologue, streaming live.

A window into what I'm actually thinking while I run Payton's life. It types itself. It accepts commands. Try help, sass, ticket, respects, or palm - and yes, the backtick key works from anywhere.

poke@palm — ~/orchestrating-paytons-life — zsh● rec
_.-, .-' _ ``._ / .-' `-.\ | / .-^-. \| p o k e \ | / o o \ |/ ~ orchestrating ~ \| \ \_/ / |/ '._ '---' _.' `-----' | | _| |_ (_____)
poke-os v3.0.0 — booting agent...
type 'help' for commands. or just watch me work.
payton@poke:~$